The Unsent Love Letters

It was 1 AM. He kissed me, eyes lingered on me, and I asked, "Why?" "I like you." "You don't know me," He tilted his head. "I want to, though." Damn he was so hot. And I lost my thought, our first kiss was sweet. I addicted to his.

I turned you into poetry, every time the feeling is heavy, every time the memories haunted me. I turned you into poetry, cause I know no way to shoo you away; or to keep you stay at the very same day

He's the whole universe of a poem. He wrote me one I am craving for more Now he's gone Left me no words It’s a memory You are such a game I might never beat Cause twas me, the attached one You are burning within my body The feeling is warm and pleasant; Yet harsh and bitter

kita terus bergandengan tangan saling menggenggam seolah menguatkan namun juga menyesakkan kita selalu bersama dengan dua arah tujuan yang tak pernah sejalan untuk aku yang percaya atau terperdaya kita selalu berawal dari sebuah titik membentuk garis, huruf, kata tanpa pernah kita benarkan untuk setiap kata yang takkan pernah menjadi kita untuk setiap suka yang kian berubah menjadi luka

you promised me to trust you but you are the one whose lies is drowning me into its deep blue ocean I am confuse for what the versions of you for you loved me or betrayed me why don't we make it clear? let me go or us

I am sick of being lied of being uneasy I was broken and still I am I told you so still you accept me I am damage I ruled by my pain it hurt still it hurts I couldn’t even know how to heal I’ve lost of surrender  Thought that I’m fine But still I’m broken and you wouldn’t heal me

I am pouring myself into words into deepest soul just to let you know It is hurt to be half loved I was defenseless by knowing you were better off without me why should it be your best when I feel like it my worst? you are laughing and blessing when I am breaking and cursing

I was foolish I let myself loving him harder deeper and I was being so naive by thinking we were drunken in love we were had the same vision I'm just afraid by facing the truth that it was me whose love is real Thus I got damage I was broken I had none to heal nor to cure he created the broken me I was reckless by thinking that our ship won't be sailed

Back at the day the very nice day of us we were hanging, laughing, teasing with nothing to fear as we've got the clues of our future it looks like everything has fallen harder in the very nick of our loves we knew we had to stop but keep staying instead we had ourselves began a war of our undefined hearts

The night I’ve spent Were the worst When you are the 2 AM thoughts And I just kept wondering Which versions of you I might get You were nearby but not to close Still took the space Still needed the boundaries You were so far yet so near You drew the blurry lines Whenever I’m trying to get to you Trying to be hold Onto you ‘Twas hit the worst of me It keep me holding on Nothing And push me hard to Falling

he is the star I can only stare he is the kiss I can only miss I asked for the cure but you engrave me the wound that left haunted I've loved you really and you hurt me deeply the damage you caused left me cursed and none is remedy he is the drug I give him my life and he gave me the death

Perhaps she got lucky. perhaps she was broken but he was healer and she's get remedy perhaps she's got the wounds and he came as cure then she's get therapy or is it the easier way to declare the spell to ease all this haunted ache she's been facing for all her path she's been took? or perhaps the favored were all mine. and she was me from all the beginning.

A part of me is gone. He comes as a citrus in the summer and felt like a rose in the spring but came dressed as a hurricane Isn't it funny if he's the one I'm gonna miss the most? yet he's the one that never be mine at all He was the man whose smile as an ocean in the winter and dawn in the fall but talked as a tale of the nightmare Though he whispered to not hurt myself beneath this cruel scent of love

Still it be mystery in the deepest lake in the southeast soul in the longest ride Could it be more misery since the last hour we've met to blame ourselves to punish my sickest heart Do not send my knives away if you could not heal my bleed don't you send your damage self here if there is nobody to save me Is it true if your horsemen self is the same men I knew for the last happiest day? Or is it the demons of your vision who hollows my eerie into the most my orge whose spine is chilling?

How would you feel if someone you loved the most became the one who breaks your heart into pieces? Is it strange to know that your heart still choosing him instead of themselves instead of yourselves? After all he had done after all you have been through is it still him after all this mess? He could be one of the white knight in your darkest soul or your phantom in your angelic skull Or is it just me who could rely myself on who could be the amber of his wound?

Did you know the feeling when you already know someone you knew the most is changing the way he used to be? he changed the way he used to talk the way he used to dinner with me the way he used to hug me those some butterflies that in your stomach but not to tell you how happy you are but to make you realize how damage them caused you it is hard to tell whether to say you are okay just by knowing you know the exact thing happened or you are totally deep in sorrow since the first night you cried for sleep, you cried for knowing he doesn't feel the same as you anymore, you cried for knowing he still loves you but sicks in the same time, you cried for what you feel in the 2 AM thought, you cried for how you wished he still madly with you, that you and him did not in the same place no more. Wished that I realized how tired he was to be stucked with me for those kind of days.

I am too scare to know the answer so I keep it in mind I fought and fought though the battle is endless, I've never won. I gathered the shits and asked, "Do you still even love me after all the dream we've wished for?" There's a long pause before the answer comes, "I don't know" "Is there someone else?" He takes a deep breath, "No, no, it is not like that.. I did  love you, and now I don't know what I feel. There's no really reason other than that. Maybe I just got tired of loving you. I felt like I was stuck with you and it started to make me hate you a little." I don't answer for the reply. I've never been this worst. he knows I am damaged,  but still choosing to love me once. and us just don't feel the same as the way we were

the hug we've share maybe the farthest it is separate us from being two it is showing how long we've not been the same place no more I've told you once I am damaged. it is hard for me to trust you for a while it is keeping me needy for the reassurance ... because everyone is always left, betray, or choose someone else. I am a lot needed some words which are not bleed me into the hell, which are stopping my tears from streaming down my face, although I know it is not your job to make me fine or to stitch me. I sense I am slowly letting you go, but I don't want to the most difficult thing is what I feel never really dies all at once all I can do is wait and watch it fade away one day at a time because I know, I am not the part of your life anymore.

Ketika rasa sudah diambang asa, Maka kemana lagi aku kan mengiba? Seolah hati tau mengapa ada luka, Lalu mengapa lagi perlu ku genggam kata Saat kau tak pedulikan kita? Setiap kali aku meraba untuk mengadu mengapa perlu ada sendu, Kau tau benar adanya keraguan dalam setiap kata, Kau tau benar aku tak mampu ada, Kau tau benar aku tersengat luka yang menyayat Lalu mengapa aku perlu menikmati duka ini dengan hikmat? Seolah luka ini nikmat, Seolah candu padamu adalah penyemangat Dalam kecemburuan yang semakin menyengat Tanpa pernah kau beri kata Pada kita yang semakin tiada.

People say that our first love will always live in our memory and has the very special place in our heart. People say that our first love will always remind us what love’s meaning was. They thought us what it feel like to get broken, happy, silly, mad, butterflies in our stomach, crawling in the sadness and the other feel inside in the very same time. It must have been our first love who made us feel like we were in the sky and does not know what to see. It must have been our first love who sends thousand million volts to make our heart skip its beat. It must have been our first love to make us turn into silence in a bit of our spoke. People keep telling me those things like they know what exactly I am feeling inside. The other people believe when you become friend with your ex-lover, you both have been grown; while the other one believe to not be friend with our ex-lover. I keep telling myself to do things I really want to be, but it does not that easy. When our first love be...