The Unsent Love Letters

Still it be mystery in the deepest lake in the southeast soul in the longest ride Could it be more misery since the last hour we've met to blame ourselves to punish my sickest heart Do not send my knives away if you could not heal my bleed don't you send your damage self here if there is nobody to save me Is it true if your horsemen self is the same men I knew for the last happiest day? Or is it the demons of your vision who hollows my eerie into the most my orge whose spine is chilling?

How would you feel if someone you loved the most became the one who breaks your heart into pieces? Is it strange to know that your heart still choosing him instead of themselves instead of yourselves? After all he had done after all you have been through is it still him after all this mess? He could be one of the white knight in your darkest soul or your phantom in your angelic skull Or is it just me who could rely myself on who could be the amber of his wound?

Did you know the feeling when you already know someone you knew the most is changing the way he used to be? he changed the way he used to talk the way he used to dinner with me the way he used to hug me those some butterflies that in your stomach but not to tell you how happy you are but to make you realize how damage them caused you it is hard to tell whether to say you are okay just by knowing you know the exact thing happened or you are totally deep in sorrow since the first night you cried for sleep, you cried for knowing he doesn't feel the same as you anymore, you cried for knowing he still loves you but sicks in the same time, you cried for what you feel in the 2 AM thought, you cried for how you wished he still madly with you, that you and him did not in the same place no more. Wished that I realized how tired he was to be stucked with me for those kind of days.

I am too scare to know the answer so I keep it in mind I fought and fought though the battle is endless, I've never won. I gathered the shits and asked, "Do you still even love me after all the dream we've wished for?" There's a long pause before the answer comes, "I don't know" "Is there someone else?" He takes a deep breath, "No, no, it is not like that.. I did  love you, and now I don't know what I feel. There's no really reason other than that. Maybe I just got tired of loving you. I felt like I was stuck with you and it started to make me hate you a little." I don't answer for the reply. I've never been this worst. he knows I am damaged,  but still choosing to love me once. and us just don't feel the same as the way we were

the hug we've share maybe the farthest it is separate us from being two it is showing how long we've not been the same place no more I've told you once I am damaged. it is hard for me to trust you for a while it is keeping me needy for the reassurance ... because everyone is always left, betray, or choose someone else. I am a lot needed some words which are not bleed me into the hell, which are stopping my tears from streaming down my face, although I know it is not your job to make me fine or to stitch me. I sense I am slowly letting you go, but I don't want to the most difficult thing is what I feel never really dies all at once all I can do is wait and watch it fade away one day at a time because I know, I am not the part of your life anymore.

Ketika rasa sudah diambang asa, Maka kemana lagi aku kan mengiba? Seolah hati tau mengapa ada luka, Lalu mengapa lagi perlu ku genggam kata Saat kau tak pedulikan kita? Setiap kali aku meraba untuk mengadu mengapa perlu ada sendu, Kau tau benar adanya keraguan dalam setiap kata, Kau tau benar aku tak mampu ada, Kau tau benar aku tersengat luka yang menyayat Lalu mengapa aku perlu menikmati duka ini dengan hikmat? Seolah luka ini nikmat, Seolah candu padamu adalah penyemangat Dalam kecemburuan yang semakin menyengat Tanpa pernah kau beri kata Pada kita yang semakin tiada.